Still thinks she's a puppy

It’s a beautiful time of year to have a birthday…spring flowers bursting forth, aspens leafing out, fruit trees with fragrant blossoms creating sweet scents, and all accompanied by the songs of newly arriving birds. And did I mention the golf course opening? It’s also a time when friends and family send heartfelt wishes for happy times, warm fuzzies to wrap around us making us feel even more loved. Then there’s Mothers Day and Fathers Day coming so we get a double dose of that “something extra” this time of year.

Apple blossoms in spring

Last week friends helped us launch our little boat, and we enjoyed our first very slow cruise around our lake. It has a little 3-horse electric motor and that works just fine for the small but pretty lake. We called it our evening Booze Cruise and even had neighborhood friends come down to their shoreline to toast the arrival of spring.

In you go!Whoopee...time to go!

We’re truly blessed to have each other and to continue having birthdays…may they keep coming so we can keep enjoying! 

Cheers!

 MOUNTAIN GREENERY

I walked along the pathway and I saw a touch of spring…
A tiny spot of green against the brown.
And so I stopped to check it out, this brave emerging soul,
So high up in the woods away from town.

I saw some tiny little leaves, reaching for the sun,
Poking up their noses in the air.
Courageous little seedling to arise and try again,
To face the world alone without a care.

Its life had never ended though challenged to the max,
Through snow and freezing rain, the winter passed.
And now the earth is ready and its life will start anew,
Its energy revived through rest, amassed.

And we, the human factor, no more nor any less,
Release our souls to grasp our Lord’s strong hand.
The bodies that we borrow while visiting the earth,
Will rest as dust in God’s most fertile land.

And when our souls have rested, we plan for our return.
We make our contracts with our soulmates dear.
Then we gather up our courage and as the seedling has,
We’ll burst upon the scene without a fear.

And so the cycle starts again, the birth, the life, the death.
The seed, our soul, will start the climb once more.
The seed completes the lessons that it’s put on earth to do.
Will I have done as well when asked my score?

Kayla and Jesse

Loved the time with son Tom…see last blog. Then enjoyed son Ron and his kids (Lucas, Brandon, Kayla) for a week after Christmas and boy, were they busy! Lots of sledding on hills and on the lake, snow-boarding, hot springs, eating and cell phones. It all went so quick. Jesse was depressed when they left after all that playing. So was I.

Tall Lucas, Gram and pretty Kayla

Grammy and Tall Brandon

Gary and Mom

The good news is that it’s been a mild season so there hasn’t been much snow blowing.Gary arrived with his dog, Maddy, for a long weekend and that was great, too. She’s a big dog with lots of long hair! The pups enjoyed each other and Gary got a bit of rest, a massage, and Mom and Dad time.

Jim supervising sledding

Ron enjoying the great outdoors

Our Crystal Mountain

When my husband sings “White Christmas” or “Winter Wonderland” (and he has an incredible voice), I get goose bumps. He’s working out of town at the moment, but I’m watching snowflakes coming down much too fast as my world gently turns white. We never really know how much we’re going to get (computer weather reports all differ) but I think we’ll have at least a half a foot. The song I’m listening to right now is “Let It Snow.” There’s not much I can do about it!

Tom and Judy

I’m also thinking of our family…Tom who was here for Thanksgiving; Ron and his kids, all three, who are coming from California the day after Christmas, and Gary and family who might get down for a few days for a group reunion. And Jim’s kids, Jeff and family in North Carolina who I haven’t seen in so long thanks to the bad back, and Jill and her family. Jim sees a lot of those guys when he does shows in Vegas but I miss them, too. (Skype works great!) Many years ago we had memorable ski weekends at Tahoe and Mammoth but it’s so difficult to get everyone together nowadays. Between jobs and school and distance, it a real challenge. Thank God for friends and electronics!
Our Christmas lights are so colorful and pretty, inside and out, and it’s fun to remember back through so many holidays, the trees and snowmen, and the joy and gratitude Jim and I feel. We used to take a lot of videos back then but we seem to have

Jesse and friends

 moved to the fancy phones…and it’s just not the same. I hope I have enough self control not to drag the oldies out and expect teenagers to sit and watch them no matter how great and funny we think they are! I think they’ll be texting, and hopefully snowboarding. We’re blessed to live half an hour from one of the best ski areas in Colorado, but unfortunately, about the time boarding came into existence, I tore up my knee at Tahoe and had to let that sport go by the board…so to speak. Maybe in my next life. I was pretty darn good if I do say so myself. Thanks to my sons I eventually cut an impressive figure with feet together, shushing down the mountain with a cowboy hat on! No helmets in those days. No photos of that but I met some interesting folks on the chair lifts. {smile})
Now that I’m able to sit at the computer once again, I’m really looking forward to getting back to work on my book about older women…at least that seems to be where I’m heading. I certainly have more than enough material for it! I want to keep it light and, hopefully, funny. Got to get that creativity back again. I’ll keep you posted on that.
So for now, I’m wishing you all a very happy holiday season of love and blessings and a peaceful 2012. Who knows what the year will bring but I’m choosing to believe it will be a wonderful one and wish you all the same!

Disgruntled snow shoveler

Son Tom came for the week of Thanksgiving and I have to say this was one happy Mom. The weather was great, took walks, did the coffee shop and rec center, and just caught up in general. And I made some of the old favorites…chicken divan, Shepard’s Pie…these go back to childhood. We’ll miss him and so will Jesse, our pup.

I can’t believe it’s been almost seven weeks since the spine surgery. It has gone fast with hindsight. And I’ve felt so much better. The sciatica is gone and I can smile again. Next doctor appt. is on December 6 and maybe I’ll be able to take off this damn brace. I’m thinking positive. Then physical therapy will start the 7th, three times a week for six weeks as the weather allows. I can’t regain the three inch height loss (genetics) but sure hope to tune up the rest of the body!

Another gorgeous day here in paradise…cold during the night, up in the 50s in the sun during the day. The swan family of three fly around every morning, probably trying to warm up. And the eagle sits patiently on the dead tree watching the lake for his next meal. My Jim is home and that makes every day perfect. The golf course even opened again for a few days and he’s now in 7th heaven and on the 16th green. If he’s not doing that, I always know right where he is…in front of golf on the TV, keeping the channel changer as his personal possession. But when the Nebraska game is on…or the Broncos, then we go back and forth or have them both up at the same time. I really enjoy both but I think I need to start writing again or find another good book to read!!

We have so much to be grateful for this year as we do every year. Christmas is right around the corner and Ron and his three kids (12, 14 and 16) are coming on the 26th. I see snow- boarding in their future and some good times down at the hot springs. And probably some more of those childhood dinners. I’m hoping the weather behaves for their flights…it’s not an easy trip (or cheap) getting here!

My website has been down for many weeks and I apologize. It seems to be up now (thank you, Bill) but if it becomes an issue again, please drop a line to www.windancer@centurytel.net. That one always works.

             I’ve been walking 1 ½ miles each day and was allowed to take of the pressure stockings yesterday…hurray! The brace is uncomfortable but it was suggested I “make friends with it” since it’ll be part of my life for another 7 weeks. The weather has been spectacular as it always is in Colorado and we’re blessed for that!

Could use a little more energy…so, okay, a lot. Jim has been an outstanding help. Nurses come by every other day to change the bandage and check things out. I’ve  gotta say there’s a tremendous sense of “I did it!” to be   able to give up the walker and totally by-pass the cane thing. Haven’t needed either but do notice I’m not quite full speed ahead yet. I get pretty tired by dinner time. Jim is on the golf course again today and that makes us both happy.

The spasms are horrible and do me in for days after I have one. Scared to lie down, scared to get up and very scary to try to roll over in bed. We’ve borrowed equipment from a friend…now have a walker, a raised toilet seat with arms, a shower chair that won’t fit in our shower and a tool to pick things up.

We’ve been through all kinds of pre-op stuff, watched a video of what I’ll look like when I come out of surgery (OMG is all I can say). They gave me meditation tapes to use now, got a physical from the internist who told me I had to remove the hormone patch I’ve worn for 25 years ‘cause it might cause a clot and that’s not what we want. Also have to back off drinking from now until I’m off all narcotics which can last awhile. I told Jim I’d much rather have a little Crown since that’s my cocktail of choice.

So he brought me this made out of a paper towel. He can still make me laugh.

I was gifted with a beautiful Prayer Quilt last week, each knot tied with a prayer. Such a loving surprise. I will take it with me…I think I can use it!

I’ll be wearing a brace for 8 weeks. Very limiting. Met with the surgeon and had to sign papers saying I understood all the horrible things that can go wrong. Then a stress-echo test on a treadmill and happy to say it went well. Jesse will go to the dog sitter for two weeks on Wednesday. Just seemed like a wise decision. But just let me say, the night sweats still aren’t any fun. You’d think after 25 years the damn things would stop!

“It’s not the years in your life but the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln. And I guess that’s as good a reason as any to go through all this!

BACK SURGERY JOURNEY – Back Story

I was blessed with many wonderful things when I was born ? most importantly, loving parents and many really good genes. Unfortunately, sometimes the bad comes along with the good, but you don’t get to find out what that might be until you get older. One of the not-so-good blessings for me seems to be a pretty bad spine. I’ve learned some big words in the last couple of years: Kyphosis, Scoliosis, and down in that old lumbar section, L4 and L5 to be exact, is Spondylolisthesis or Spondy for short. The first two issues I can live with, but as the doctor says, I can’t live with the spondy. The L4 vertebra has slipped a half inch forward over L5, very close to completely shutting off the canal where the spinal cord and all sorts of nerves live. They call that Stenosis.

Spondylolisthesis

Ugly

One of those unhappy nerves for me is the sciatic nerve. When that one pinches, it creates a nasty pain that starts in my left buttock and creates major burning pain down the leg and into the foot, sometimes debilitating. In addition, the Spondy is cutting off other nerves that result in my not being able to stand in one place more than a few minutes without my thighs going numb and burning. Sitting for long periods doesn’t work very well either. Walking feels good, so Jesse (our pup) and I do that every day. Dancing used to be one of my joys but that’s on hold for awhile.

               Since the possibility of a final big pinch would cause paralysis and a wheelchair existence, that is simply not an option. So this blog is going to be a sort of diary of what this process, a surgery, will be like.  So far, I’ve tried several chiropractors, acupuncture, cranial sacral therapy, EFT, physical therapy, deep tissue therapy, and massage. Then I gave in and went to the spine doctor. I showed Dr. B some  X-rays one of the chiropractors had taken. He shook his head and said, “Whew.” Not exactly encouraging.

               He suggested trying cortisone shots. However, I would need to have an MRI first. Well. I’m very claustrophobic. I finally, with a few caveats, made it through. A soft pad for my eyes kept my curiosity impossible to satisfy and I insisted my husband be in the room with me to keep his hand on my leg. They agreed ?-just no metal on his body. And I took two Xanax that morning. That kept the anxiety under control and I survived it, much to my slightly wobbly delight. A half hour later, I was getting my first shot with Dr. B. The relief lasted a week. I waited the required two months and got another shot. It lasted about two days. When I asked for a third, Dr. B told us the bad news. Surgery. Fusion with rods and screws. Oh whoopee.

               Anxiety set in again and still is in conflict with the desire to be rid of the pain. I did ask if they could add the three inches back that I’ve lost in height, but he just smiled. I think that’s a no. Dr. B sent me to Dr. O who does the surgery. I have to say they’re both so darn handsome and sooo young. (I guess it’s all a matter of perspective.) Anyway, fortunately I have a couple of friends who went through this last year, although they were both in good physical shape right up to the operation unlike me. One even went skiing the day before. Good Lord. I can barely roll over in bed, let alone get up without groaning! I’m not much fun right now. Just ask Jim.

               I alternate between being grateful that it’s not the big “C” and being frustrated and even angry that this has happened. Mom and Dad lived to 89 and 93 respectively and never had any major surgeries. Dad shrunk nine inches, but he still drove and never complained. He couldn’t turn his head far, but it didn’t stop him and neither could I, and he played the piano to entertain the “old folks” every day of his life. So what’s with my body?

 I’ve got all the appointments set up now. A day of pre-op at the hospital being fitted for a brace that I’ll be wearing for 8 weeks, and a notebook full of “do this, maybe that, but absolutely don’t do that!” It was a gift from the spine clinic. It’s a 2-3 night stay in the hospital and I’m told they get you up almost immediately to walk. Hard to envision right now. I’ve been told I’ll feel pretty much like chopped liver for a couple of weeks but things slowly get better every day. I won’t be able to bend, twist, reach, lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk, and I simply cannot fall. Physical therapy starts at about 6-8 weeks and before that, it’s walk, walk, walk. A mile a day right away, in pieces, with a walker. I sense more groaning in my future.

               Recovery takes at least six months, actually up to 1 ½ years to totally “harden.” The doctor did emphasize, “If you don’t dance now, you won’t be dancing in six months.” I said, “I love to dance and I darn well want to do that again!” So … the surgery is scheduled for October 13. God willing, I’ll be able to comfortably use the computer again since writing is one of my joys. I don’t have much interest in marketing my current books right now, and the creative juices aren’t flowing enough to work on the new book. Excuses, excuses, whine, whine, whine.

               So there you have the back story. Yes, it’s about my back but it’s also the necessary information explaining how I reached this chapter of my journey. Talk about a Shift! Future blogs will be much shorter, I promise.